Arjun’s POV

    This winter was rainy in San Francisco. I sipped my coffee and stared at the stormy sky outside. The last couple of weeks were a whirlwind. I was waking up every day with a new skip in my step and a newfound motivation. Work was always been important to me and one of the number one priorities. I found joy and purpose in my work but this time around the motivation I found was not just coming from its usual place. There was something else too that invigorated my spirits but I was still in denial about it.

     There was a pitter-patter sound at the window as I looked outside. It was only this December that I was becoming increasingly aware of how lonely I had been in previous years. I was not someone who disliked being alone. I was more of an ambivert. Someone who was selectively social. It depended on the kind of people I met, if they were able to connect with me mentally. But lately I found myself less interested in engaging with the people around me. And whenever I was alone, thoughts about Fatima started swirling around in my mind.

      Was it only out of loneliness that I was pulled towards her?

      I was yet not ready to admit but my interest towards her sometimes swayed in the direction of romance rather than platonic. It was quite unrealistic. I was about thirty years old and I had dated many women around my own age. Women from America, from Delhi, from different cultures. Although, I was never as serious or involved with any of them. But how could it be that a woman I’d never met who lived thousands of miles away from where I was began to tug at my heartstrings?

       I shook my head. There was no point in entertaining such thoughts. I’d planned to go to a bar on the weekend and get my mind off of what I was stuck on. Fatima’s face kept flashing in front of me. It was Friday and she’d taken a leave for the day. The prospect of not seeing her for a day made me feel gloomier for some reason.

     Right then, as if on a cue my phone rang and I rushed to pick it up. Although Fatima never called me on my number unprompted, I still had the faintest hope that it would be her. 

     As expected, it wasn’t her. It was my Aunt Riddhi calling me. I picked up the call trying to stomach some of my disappointment. It was a while after I received her call. Mostly, I would call her myself whenever I was finished with work.

    ‘Do you remember my voice? Do you know who this is?’ she began the call, a hint of melancholy in her voice.

   I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. It was characteristic of her to start the conversation with an emotional edge in her tone. She was always a little sentimental when it came to me. Probably because she brought me up like one of her own children and took care of me with great care. I had great reverence for her as well.

   ‘No, whose is this young, hearty, soft voice? I don’t yet know her but I would like to know,’ I replied teasingly. 

   ‘Save this flirting for your actual wife which is why I called you,’ Aunt Riddhi replied.

   I groaned audibly. 

   ‘Now, what? Are we going to talk about my future wife again, Aunt?’ I asked her with dismay.

  ‘Son, don’t you find these Decembers lonely without someone by your side? I would rather you come back to Delhi and live with us here. But even if you can’t, we want you to settle down now,’ she said with concern laced in her voice, ‘Don’t get hooked with some white woman here.’

  ‘You don’t need to worry about me marrying a white woman,’ I replied to her mockingly, ‘I will make sure to not end up with someone like that.’

   ‘Why does it sound like you have found someone?’ her voice instantly became suspicious. 

 Aunt Riddhi was not very involved in my love life throughout my teenage and college years but it was only now she became extremely involved with it. She wanted me to get married as soon as possible.

  For some reason, thoughts about Fatima start roaming in my mind again. 

  ‘Don’t worry, Aunt Riddhi,’ I replied, ‘You won’t be having any such  

  ‘Do you remember Radhika?’ she asked. 

 I sighed in response. For some reason, this time around I was even less inclined to consider any of the women she brought forward now. Last year her persuasion had almost even worked on me. It was true that the loneliness of adulthood was beginning to get to me a little bit after some time. 

   It was hard to spend this time alone all by myself. And yet, I was not desperate for a companion. What mattered to me more than anything was that whoever I chose was mentally compatible with me.

   Anyone that my Aunt had brought forward as a potential partner up till now failed to charm me.

   ‘No Aunty,’ I replied, ‘I do not remember anyone you introduced to me last time I came to Delhi. Truly none of them were my type.’

   Aunt let out an exasperated sigh.

  ‘And pray tell me what your type is then?’ she asked, ‘If you told me before I would have been able to find her by now.’

  ‘I say only one thing. I want intelligence in a woman,’ I replied defiantly, ‘It shouldn’t be so hard to find but you are looking for the wrong things.’

 ‘Son, I do want to find you a wife that can make a home. Intelligence alone can not make a home. A woman needs to be domestic and nurturing. I prioritize these qualities for you. That’s what makes a lasting partner. You don’t know because you are still inexperienced in these matters.’

 ‘But I told you what I want. Besides, home isn’t something that just one person makes. It takes two people. And I am not entirely incompetent you know,’ I replied, ‘An intelligent person knows how to adapt. If someone could keep up with you in a conversation, if they can challenge you and understand you, that’s fulfilling for me,’ I replied confidently.

  It wasn’t so usual that I knew exactly what I wanted in a partner. In fact, most of the time I did not think at all about these things since I did not expect myself to get married any time soon.

  Was it because I had found a blueprint for what I wanted in a partner now?

  Once again, Fatima’s face flashed in front of my eyes again. I couldn’t help but recall all our previous conversations. It was like my mind was stuck on the idea that she was the most perfect woman that I had ever come across. I still couldn’t believe that this all was while I had not even met her. I wondered how things would have been like if she was someone around me. 

  ‘You would understand these things when you are much older. In the end, the things that matter the most in life aren’t intelligence and compatibility. What you need is a woman who can get along with your parents and turn your house into a home. That is all that matters in the end, my son.’

   Aunt Riddhi started rambling again about what a man should and should not look for a woman as a partner.

   I zoned out a little in the conversation as my mind started to wander again.

   I could not wait for it to be Monday when I could talk to Fatima again. There were stirrings inside of me that popped their head out of somewhere and before I knew it she was beginning to occupy my mind each time we weren’t talking.

   I hung up the call after some time and decided I needed to go out for the night. 

  ‘It is time to put myself out there before I start crushing on a girl I haven’t even met,’ I thought out loud.

  I glanced at myself in the mirror. I usually dressed up in casual clothes during work. I was wearing simple jogger pants and a sweatshirt that looked nice on me. I was never particularly interested in trying to look more handsome. In fact, looks were the things I thought the least about. 

  My goal was to lead with personality and let people be charmed by my intelligence. 

 Looking into my round almond eyes and angular face, I wondered what Fatima thought about it. My hair was slightly thinning from the top. 

 I never had to worry about getting with any women. Despite a fairly average experience, I never had to experience much set-backs when I wanted to be with any woman. At some point, I had simply stopped trying because it was a fairly easy task. I stopped looking because no one had interested me in a while.

 But I knew better than to go for what stirred my heart. I would rather be in denial than dive head first into something that seemed like an impossible choice. 

                                                                      ****

 Fatima’s POV

 Strangely, I did not enjoy having a free day as much as I longed for it. Adjusting to a ton of work was not easy but once I got into the flow of it, I actually started having fun with it. Sometimes, I wondered if I would find it as much as fun if Arjun wasn’t my employer.

  I felt truly blessed because of his presence in my life. It was like a miracle that we found each other. Not just because of the work that I was able to learn and do but also the friendship I found in him. Arjun and I had struck an unexpected friendship. It made me feel so joyful that I was almost giddy by it.

  ‘You are like one of the most interesting friends I have, you know,’ he said, ‘You are so fun to talk to. These days I hardly talk to anyone else more than you.’

  I felt a tingle in my chest as I thought about it. I smiled to myself.

 ‘What are you smiling about in secrecy?’ Mahroosh asked, bringing me out of my reveries. 

 I looked at her and smiled in response. Mahroosh was my roommate in the apartment I’d got for myself in Lahore. She was working as an HR in a firm. Both of us were quickly becoming friends. 

  Growing up, I never had a ton of friends. I had a pretty introverted personality that made it a bit difficult for me to connect with people my age. 

   It was after a while that I was connecting with someone. Arjun was perhaps the first male friend I’d ever had. Although, at times it was unsettling because I found it so unfamiliar. I was also happy to have found him.

   ‘I was just thinking about my employer, Arjun,’ I told her, ‘I think we have become really good friends over a very short period of time. I contemplated just texting him today outside of work communication. I am so used to talking to him every day. Is that normal?’ 

    Mahroosh furrowed her eyebrows.

  ‘It’s unusual. Especially, if you haven’t had male friends in your life at all,’ she replied, swatting a fly that was flying too close to her cup of tea.

  We were both visiting the Lawrence Garden in Lahore. It was one of my most favorite places in the city. I remembered mentioning this to Arjun and he asked when he would be able to visit us. 

  ‘Are you sure you two are just friends though? Maybe, you might have developed a teeny tiny crush on him?’ Mahroosh asked teasingly.

   I gaped at her.

  ‘Having a crush on my boss who’s Indian?’ I shook my head, ‘That has to be one of the most ludicrous things you have ever said to me.’

  Mahroosh grinned.

 ‘There are no borders when it comes to one’s heart though,’ she replied, ‘And from my vast dating experience in Pakistan, I think you are better off swearing off all men here. Trying to find ones from neighboring countries might help.’

 I was too embarrassed to tell my new friend that I did not have much of a dating experience. I did get to interact with many men, in my university and college days but I never got close enough with any to call them a friend, much less a boyfriend.

I knew eventually I would get married to someone my parents chose for me. But I hadn’t had much luck with any suitors yet either.

‘I doubt my parents would agree to such a development,’ I replied in a small voice.

‘Well, they aren’t doing much of a job of finding you any suitors now, are they?’ she asked in an accusatory, ‘I mean both your younger siblings are getting hitched quicker than you. That’s not a pleasant scenario for any older girl.’

 I felt my heart dropping a little bit. Mahroosh had the habit of being a bit blunt. She did not mean to hurt but it could wound someone who was sensitive which I unfortunately was.

 ‘I mean I am happy that my siblings are getting married,’ I replied, ‘Everyone finds whatever is in their fate. If love was in my fate then I would find it.’

 Mahroosh simply squinted her eyes at me as a response. 

 I stared at the families around us. I loved this park for it was always filled with families. I loved the idea that some day I might be able to come to the park with my own family too. 

  The idea of love had not had a long time to develop in my mind. I lived without any such notions for so long that now when I was getting close to the age of marriage all of it seemed unfamiliar. 

  And then, to find that both my siblings had greater prospects of getting married than I produced such a strange unpleasant feeling inside me. I was happy for them and yet I couldn’t help but stomach a little bit of disappointment for I was not approached for marriage by anyone all this while.

   I swallowed my sigh. I didn’t want Mahroosh to see my disappointment. At that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder whether this was something I could discuss with Arjun. He was the only one who I found would not judge me for how I felt. But I didn’t want him to know how I felt about myself. 

   The news about my siblings finding promising suitors was still a new one and I was still emotionally adjusting to it. Soon, I would visit my home at the end of the month and have to witness the wedding proceedings and indulge in conversations from relatives wondering why I had not got married yet.

 I shuddered at the thought of that. Instinctively, I held my phone in my hand. I thought of Arjun once again. I wished we could talk today even when there was no work.

As if on a cue, my phone vibrated and I instantly looked at the screen.

‘How’s your day off going?’ 

My face instantly lit up.

It was Arjun.